1 Samuel 1: 27 for this child I prayed, and the Lord heard my prayer.
I am having a little tiny human and I cannot believe just how lucky I am to have this gift. When I was waiting for the 1000000 test to confirm the result ( obviously plastics can make mistakes ) I was listening to the song ‘Blessing’ by @Karijobe. I still play this song most mornings as it really speaks to my life right now, the blessing and the miracle space am in and the absolute honor I feel, to have been chosen to carry a life at a time when the Earth is so strained by the epidemic. This year has been so difficult for most of us and the anxiety of it all seemed so overwhelming. Still, new life teaches us how resilient we are, how a revival is possible even in the darkest of times. The earth will renew itself, there is life, even now.
She is still tiny, a bean really, according to all online doctors she is barely a thumb long, but she has a heartbeat and it is really really strong..she will be such a star. She is already such a star. She must be strong as she is basically eating up all my meals and has turned me into a pig. She must also be brainy because all memory has left my brain, I forget just about everything these days. Precious, my precious.
She must be choosy because I choose what to eat all the time. She like her dad can live on meat forever. These two will drive me insane with their meat plots. But she is me because she also loves all my basic, boil mixes and she helps me keep that down even at the top of nausea.
She is empathetic, especially towards me, and has covered me with so much love over the last few weeks when I have felt so low, so beaten down by exhaustion. She has been so thoughtful as not to ruin me during my workdays and only allows the bloats in the evening and night. She has PR this little child of mine, she doesn't want mummy to be bloat embarrassed at work meetings. She knows when to push down my pelvic bones, just when am about to go for a walk and she wants to chill..little couch potato.
She is gracious, she has been so good to my face, it is early days yet, but it is still not as bad as i thought it would be, my hair is growing rapidly like a wild bush, it will be a forest by the time this child is ready to join us earthside.
She must also have a lot of hair because baby hair is sprouting all around my hairline.i cannot wait to lay my hands on her little bushy hair head…the same head that will have bombed body parts in the transition to earth. My miracle is also my renovator.
She must be a storyteller, a vigorous content consumer based on the content we are consuming together these past days, i find myself laughing and wondering if she is laughing too. She will be such a conversationalist because am always talking to her and to myself.
I am not oblivious of the fact that it might be a boy, my very own sunshine, he will be loved because he is my first.
I knew I loved children when I first held a child in my arms in my pre-teen years, I knew i wanted a child when I turned 25 and I was finally allowed to date. I knew I must have this child when I turned 30, but still, as the years tickled on more and more months became a decade of wanting and searching and trying until this little Sunday miracle attached itself into my life forever.
I pray she is healthy, i am trying to eat all the leafy greens, take all medicines and see the dr as often as i can. I want to try for her, i want to eat well, nourish my brain and try be good all through this process. Maybe this way she will find me spiritually, emotionally and physically ready for her.
I run out of breath often, I try a lot to keep up with her beats and needs and I try more than anything to remain strong. This must be the beginning of keeping up with my Lamu. My little island heaven.
